international women's day

Today is international womens day, and I was talking to a friend about it. What do you do? Congratulate women? On a suckier place in the hierarchy? Ehh, doesn’t sit right does it. Celebrate women? That’s more like it. Fight for equality? Sure. But let’s get personal for a second. This is my personal opinion but what I as a woman would appreciate the most today from first and foremost men and allies, but also amongst women ourselves, is asking these questions: 

How can I best support the women in my life?

How can I better listen to them? 

How can I listen to their experiences of abuse and oppression without taking it personally, and instead keeping an open heart, hearing what they are saying, truly taking it in?

It is easy especially when it’s about gender conflicts to get defensive and lock into your own hurt perspective. but these are the questions I would ask myself today. 

How can I lift the women in my life up? 

How can I truly honor them and their emotions? 

And if you don’t know the answer, that’s okay. Ask. Ask a woman in your life how you can better show up for her and she will maybe even be a little shocked at first, because we are used to fighting this fight alone and on the rare occasion with other women. But after the initial shock, if she is also open to you, she will be thankful you asked and lay down a few rocks from her shoulders in your hands. Then you can help carry. What those rocks are will be individual to every woman. but simply screaming or stating that women shouldn’t have to carry rocks, while sympathetic, doesn’t alleviate the burden. And it’s a structural problem but the solution is in your close relationships, starting with the women you have close to you. And if you wanna take it one step further, ask yourself how you can connect with your own feminine side. Connection is key here. Higher salaries, equal opportunities, genuine respect are all a given but they are not reached through fighting, but through connection. What men have failed to realise for so long is that you cannot hurt a woman without hurting yourself. So be brave, reach out your hand and provide space for the women in your life today. Truly listen to them and their pain. This is what I wish for every woman, to have someone there with them in their pain, whether that person is a man, a woman or any other gender identity. Someone who listens.