soft

I’m really pissed off at the moment. I feel like I try to do everything I can to hold space for softness in the world and in myself and I feel like it’s still not enough. I feel like the crushing weight of the world squashes all the gentle whispers, caresses and wishes that are truly true to my soul. I feel like I never got the memo. I never accepted that you have to “suck it up” and just keep pushing. that’s a lie I DID get the memo and I TRIED to suck it up for forever, only to realize the only thing that got sucked up was my soul and my spark and my innocence - sucked up into the giant dark cloud of performativity, productivity and suffering. How do you stay soft in a world that’s so harsh? It feels like a giant riddle today. 

I sing to myself:

You are not here to harden. 

You are not weak because you are soft.

You are not less valuable because you are soft.

You are not delusional.

You are not disposable. 

Being soft is the bravest thing you can be. And it sucks that most people can’t see that. 

My soft friends we are invisible heroes. 

But don’t even for a second believe that being a hero doesn’t take courage, because it does. No one wants to show their heart in a world full of sharks. But even though teeth may be all you see when you look around, sharks have hearts too. And everyone, every single person on this earth, every single shark, wants their heart held and seen. 
So whether they eat you or laugh at you or dismiss you altogether, it is merely a reflection of how their own softness has been squashed, and how they treat their own soft center. 

So the bravest thing to do is to show your heart anyways. stay soft anyways. to meet yourself and others with tenderness as best you can. 

However I will not lie and say that it won’t hurt to stay open. Because it will. And it does. 

But still,

I did not come here to harden. 

I came here mushy, soft, open and alive… and I intend to stay that way.